Tales of the Lolwut
by AnnaMay-Nutt
Summary: Basically, the ToS gang is blasted to Earth because Mithos is a dork, and has to deal with me, my best friend, my cousins, and various Earth things. :D -- Oy vey. I realized how many spelling mistakes there are. I'll work on fixing them, I'm so sorry Dx
1. Arriving :D

_Author note of evil: Ok, so I started writing this back in like...-looks-...sometime in 2006, according to my dA. XD Man._

_A lot of these will be from 2006 and 2007, I think. I only started working on this story again...last year. XD And I mean to write more. I just need to unlazy myself. But for now, oh, for now. I want to see what people think of my craaaaziness. :D I hope you'll like it. xD_

**I OWN NOTHING. NOTHING I SAY. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING.**

Rebecca and Michael had just arrived at their cousin Sloane's house, where Sloane's friend Michi also happened to be staying for awhile.

"Hey guys! Ready to have some fun?" Sloane asked her cousins.

"Yup!" they both answered. After they went inside, Sloane introduced them to Michi:

"Guys, this is Michi, Michi, this is Rebecca and Michael."

"Nice to meet you!"-s were heard from them. The group went off and played Tales of Symphonia. They all loved that game so very much. It was a part of their lives now. After that, they had some lunch, which was ramen. Then they read ToS fan fiction on fanfiction dot to the net yo. Just as they were settling down to draw, they heard a bunch of sounds from outside. They ran outside to see a huge void very high in the sky.

"Whoa! What is that?!" exclaimed Rebecca. A bunch of bodies were falling from the void towards the little house.

"Ah! It's like, a graveyard in the sky!" Michael cried. The bodies began too look familiar.

"Hey…those guys look familiar….wait! Those are-!" Michi started when everyone realized that if they didn't do something that their lawn would be a graveyard. Frantcially, Sloane pulled the blanket out from the trunk of her parents' car and everyone held onto the edges, and maneuvered around to catch all the people that were falling. After they had (miraculously ) caught them, the void started to disappear, but before it vanished completely, there were sounds of grunts and anger, and then it disappeared. Everyone stared at the people in the blanket, and their jaws were dropped, as they were staring at the Tales of Symphonia cast- Lloyd, Colette, Genis, Kratos, Raine, Sheena, Zelos, Presea, Regal, Yuan, and Seles. Slowly, Genis started to wake up.

"Wh…what happened? Wh-where am I?" he asked softly, then he noticed the four people staring at him, "Who are you?"

"Chit-chat will be saved for later, you're hurt!" Michi said examining a wound on Genis' arm. Slowly the others started waking up.

"Huh? What….whoa…what happened?" Lloyd asked as he sat up, clutching his wounded side.

"What….happened?" Colette murmured, holding her bruised leg.

"What the HECK happened to you guys?" Michael asked as he was wrapping a wound on Seles' leg.

"…Who are you and where are we?" Kratos asked, not answering the question Michael asked.

"I asked you first!"

"I don't care."

"You should!"

"Well I don't."

"Start caring!"

"Make me."

"You're already made, and man, what a mess!"

"Excuse me??"

"Nothin…"

"….."

Michi, Rebecca, and Sloane slapped their foreheads in unison.

"Nice timing!" Zelos said.

"Thanks," they all replied in unison.

"Nice timing again!"

"Thanks again."

"Still very nice timing!"

"Ok…let's stop or we'll be at this all day…" Sloane said.

"…So…as I asked…who are you and where are we?" Kratos asked in his demanding-mood-and-voice.

"Hmm…who wants to explain?" Michi asked.

"Well…in short…ok, there is NO way to say this in a short way. But anyway…we are four human children, just like most of you guys are humans with the exception of a few half-elves. We live on the planet EARTH, which is where you happen to be now. We don't know how you got here, but there was a big void in the sky, and you guys fell out of it, and we caught you with that blanket, and now I get the feeling you are stuck here." Rebecca said.

"Wait…how did you know that there are half-elves here?" Yuan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes…the fun part of explaining…Sloane, you introduced us to the game, you do the explaining," Michael said.

"Gee, thanks a lot. Anyway…how do I put this…you guys…well…there's this game, ok? And you guys happen to be the stars of it. It covers the entire story of reuniting Sylvarant and T'ethealla, and the Giant Kharlan tree being reborn. There are Exspheres, Cruxis Crystals, and monsters too. Mithos, Forcystus, Magnius, Kvar…all those enemies and others were in there too. The Seals used for the World Regeneration Journey, the Chosens, the Church of Martel…name it and it was there," Sloane said, slightly nervous that they might end up being killed for knowing all of this information.

"Whoa….how did you….how did people here…." Sheena stuttered.

"We don't know how they knew, but they did, and they created a game about it, that thousands of people have played," Michi said.

"So you're saying that THOUSANDS of people know about us in this world?" Regal asked, slightly nervously.

"Yup, that about covers it. But they don't know that you exist in real life, they think that you guys are just a figment of someone's imagination," Rebecca said, in a slightly amused tone.

"This is 100% true. There is no need for hostility," Presea told her comrades.

"Now…we answered your questions, please answer ours. What the heck happened?" Michi asked.

"We were…fighting Mithos…and he got really angry…and somehow he opened a portal to your world, apparently," Raine said, "It is ridiculously complex and hard to explain." (In other words, I have no good explanation.)

"Hey, Lloyd. Can't you use the Eternal sword to get you guys back home?" Michael asked.

"Hey, yeah!" Lloyd cried as he took out the sword, and held it up. Nothing happened…until they heard a sound like a phone. A female voice came from the sword.

"Who is calling Master Origin? He is busy with his ladies--I mean, with official business."

"…Umm…this is Lloyd, I like, am the one with the right of the Eternal Sword, and I need to get us home!" Lloyd said.

"Ah, Mr. Droid, allow me to put you on hold."

"It's LLOYD!"

"Of course, Floyd." then random music began to play as Lloyd was put on hold.

"I wonder if they do requests? Play…Ready Steady Go! by L'Arc~En~Ciel!" Rebecca told the sword. That song started playing.

"Whee! Ready Steady Go!!" Michi laughed dancing. The ToS cast watched in shock and amusement. After that song was done, she said "Play the Numa Numa song!" and it started playing.

"When you leave, my colors fade to gray, ooa ooa ey, ooa ooa ooa ey, every word of love I used to say, now I paint it everyday. When you leave, my colors fade to gray, hey little lover stay, or all my colors fade away, every word of love I used to say, now I paint it everyday!" the four Earth-children sang.

"Play Wonderful Days!" Sloane exclaimed. The song started playing, and they danced to it. Even Colette, Sheena, Zelos, and Genis started dancing a little.

"Play Lost Heaven!" Michael cried. All the while poor Lloyd was holding this sword up in the air, waiting for Origin to be done with his "business".

"We are sorry, Mr. Mergatroyd, but Origin left on vacation for a few months…AND I'M GOING WITH HIM! TOODLES!"

"WHAT?! AND IT'S LLOYD!!!!"

"Bye bye, Mr. Boid!"

Click.

"Hey! Aww damn it, now what are we gonna do?" Lloyd groaned.

"Great. Now I got TWO pervs to deal with, first Zelos and now ORIGIN, of all people….Summon Spirits…creatures….whatever…" Sheena groaned.

"Well…until Origin's back from his vacation…what are you guys gonna do?" Michi asked.

"…Got any spare rooms?" Genis asked.

"Uh…depends on what you can tolerate. Can you deal with living in either the basement, garage, or spare room with no bed?" Sloane asked with a sweat drop on her head.

"Aww c'mon, they're always sleeping on the floor anywho!" Michael said.

"They slept on beds in inns!" Rebecca groaned.

"But they slept on the floor or outside a lot!"

"That was when Colette was becoming an angel or when they slept at Hima or Katz Island!"

"BUT what about that time they slept at Zelos' mansion? There were only two beds!"

"There were seats ya know!"

"Not enough for them all!"

"Here we go…the ol' sibling rivalry thing…." Sloane sighed sitting on the grass. The arguing went on for about 20 minutes, until the two lost their voices, then they had no choice but to stop. They had a few cough drops, and when they regained their voices they thought it would be wise not to argue anymore.

"Um…we'll see what the conditions are like in those places…if that's ok!" Colette said, making sure to be polite.

Let's just skip explaining how everything works in the house to the guys, I don't wanna write about Raine in her Ruin-mode right now anyway xD

"Can we watch this "TV" now?" Zelos asked.

"Alright, but NO PORN is allowed," Sloane grumbled.

"Aww…."

"Zelos….you disgust me…." Michi sighed.

"Ouch, that's harsh man!"

"I don't care."

"You should!"

"Well, I don't, so HA!"

"START CARING!"

"GUYS! Are we gonna have a repeat of earlier or are you gonna calm down?" Seles interrupted. Meanwhile Yuan had turned on the TV and was watching Blues Clues, but no one noticed until he started singing "We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, I wonder who it's from!" along with Steve.

"Oh my…." Sloane said.

"Yes Yuan! Bring out your inner child! Bring out your inner 4,000+ year old child!" Michi laughed.

End of chapter one


	2. Adjusting :D

_Moar! :D I dunno, lulz._

_**I STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING. D:**  
_

Chappie 2!

After Yuan's serenade, everyone was caught up in watching "That's So Raven" on Disney Channel….well sorta caught up in it.

"This is very odd…." Kratos said, very bored with it.

"Then why don't we go outside to play?" Michi suggested.

"Won't fans recognize us?" Sheena asked.

"Oh…well, if any try to rape you, you can just kill them with your attacks!" Sloane said with a cheerful look. Everyone sweat dropped. And so, they all walked outside. And….they walked around….and fished in the little pond, and caught nothing since there ARE no fish in there. Seems pointless huh? Well c'mon, they were bored! Anyway…there wasn't really anything to do…until Rebecca volunteered to show Lloyd how to drive the riding mower. Oh my.

"Hey Lloyd, I'll show you how to ride this baby in no time!"

"That's a baby? Wow, I wonder what the adults look like!"

"C'mon Lloyd! Hurry up!" Rebecca said with a huge sweat drop on her head.

"Ok, ok!" After a little bit of explaining, Lloyd was about to take his first ride.

"Rebecca. Are you SURE about this?" Sloane asked, "'Cuz my dad will NOT be happy if Lloyd wrecks his mower…." ((…Where ARE our parents in this anyway?))

"Hey guys, lewk at me!!" Lloyd exclaimed as he rode around.

"Wow, he's pretty good…" Michi said. But her mind changed when he ran over the neighbor Don's flowers.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Lloyd cried as he just barely avoided running over Don's cat. Don ran outside.

"What the heck is goin' on?" he asked. The wind blew his cap off…right in Lloyd's path. Lloyd ran over the cap, tearing it to blue shreds that were left on the grass.

"M-My cap….my cap!"

"I'm SO sorry, Don! My…um…cousin…Lloyd….is a newbie at this…." Sloane apologized, "How much will it cost to get you another hat?" Don pulled out an exactly identical one: "ALWAYS…..BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING," he said, and then took his cat inside with him and locked up to be away from the madness of Lloyd ….."OMG, WHERE DID LLOYD GO?" you're wondering…and you are about to find out.

"Wheeee!!!" Lloyd cried as he rode across the street to Jack's house. Their cat ran out of the way in a very paranoid way as Lloyd rode around. Lloyd accidentally made a dent in Jack's van while ridding around. Just as the group was about to run across the street a huge line of cars started going by.

"Man! I hate it when that happens!" Michael grumbled. After a good five minutes, which was all the time Lloyd needed to totally shred up the yard, the line was gone and the group ran across the street. Fortunately, Jack and his wife were sound asleep through all of this. Lloyd then moved into the woods behind the house. He couldn't hear his friends' screams over all the noise. After knocking down a few trees and somehow Jack and his wife not waking up after that either, Kratos did what he should have done in the first place, he sprouted his wings, flew over to Lloyd, and stopped the mower.

"Aww Kratos, why'd you stop me? I was having a lot of fun!" Lloyd complained. Kratos pointed to Jack's yard, Don's yard, Don's cap, Don's nearly skinned cat that was looking out of the window, and the huge ruts in the road.

"Oh….oh well, it was still fun!"

"GET. OFF. THE. MOWER. NOW." Kratos hissed..

"Aww…can't I at least drive it back across the street? I caused a lot of trouble and…I don't want to bother any of you with having to push it or anything or having to ride it…"

"…Alright," Kratos said, he couldn't resist Lloyd's sweet look. So Lloyd hopped on it, and the others led him across the street.

"So! When can I do that again?" Lloyd asked.

"…When you're 5,890,678,324 years old…." Sloane and Michi said in unison ((seriously, she and I must have some kind of mind connection because we are like, ALWAYS thinking the same things at the same time in real life!)) while they were fixing up the dents on the mower.

"What? Aww man, I'll have to be even older than Kratos!" Lloyd groaned.

"Keep talking like that and you won't even reach age 20.…" Kratos growled.

"S-Sorry Kratos…." Lloyd said in fear, then he hid behind Zelos.

End of chapter 2! Next lesson for the cast…how to use a stereo system and computer!


	3. Ok, make that failing at adjusting

Chapter 3!

So, after the catastrophe outside, they group went inside.

"Here, I'll show you how to play music on the stereo. There's NO way you can mess something as simple as THAT up…" Sloane grumbled to Lloyd, although the last sentence was more to herself thus Lloyd didn't hear it much. She took out a disc.

"THIS is a DISC, D-I-S-C. Got it? Some call it a CD, C-D. You place it in here--" Sloane pointed into the….CD playing area…whatever that is called:"--and then press THIS after closing that. Got it?"

"Oh man, that's just too simple!" Lloyd said as he put the disc in….upside down, that is, but the others weren't paying close enough attention to notice it. What came out of the stereo was this….:

"Yadyreve ti tniap I won, yas ot desu I evol fo drow yreve, Yay Amun Amun Amun, Yay Amun Amun, yarg ot edaf sroloc ym, evael uoy nehw!" …in other words, words from the Numa Numa song coming out backwards.

"LLOYD! WHAT DID YOU DO!" Michi cried. Michael opened the stereo and took out the disc.

"He put it in UPSIDE DOWN."

"Lloyd! It's put in like this!" Rebecca exclaimed putting it in the right way.

"Well, soooooorry!"

After listening to a few songs,, Lloyd pushed a button saying "I wonder what this is?", and it was the eject button…causing the disc to shoot out and leave a hole in the wall.

"Um…oops…?" Lloyd said nervously.

"………..And just WHO is gonna seal that up?" Sloane asked him with an angry face.

"You! It's YOUR house!" Lloyd said, unaware that Michi had to hold Sloane back so she wouldn't choke him.

After a LOUSY patch job, the group walked into the family room.

"Show me how to work that!" Lloyd said pointing to the computer.

"Oh HELL no…." Sloane groaned.

"I'll teach him!" Michael said, and he ran over to the computer.

"Oh no…." Michi sighed.

After a lot of explaining, Lloyd was messing around with the computer. He was actually doing fairly well for about an hour. But then he clicked on a popup add. BIG mistake.

"Um, guys? There are a whole bunch of skulls appearing on the screen…." Lloyd said to the group, who was caught up in InuYasha.

"Oh great…." they mumbled getting up. A voice came from the computer once the gang crowded around.

"Hello! Congrats! You have just launched the "I-HAVE-TO-BE-A-TOTAL-IDIOT-TO-CLICK-ON-THIS-POPUP-AD" virus! Congrats! Your computer will now permanently die in 5...4...3...2...1...

Crack! Fizzle….

"……………………………................................" was what everyone said to this.

"…Well, let's go do something!" Lloyd said cheerfully.

"…LLOYD! You just WRECKED my COMPUTER! Do you REALIZE how much those darned things COST?" Sloane yelled out.

"Um…no…how much gald? I'll pay you back."

"We don't use gald here. So if you're gonna pay me back, you're gonna have to somehow find some of our money."

"…Pay ya back later! Hey, I wonder what this does!" Lloyd said as he started toying with Michi's, Rebecca's, and Michael's stuff. 10 minutes later he was begging Kratos to hide him from the angered Earthlings.

"Hey, you got yourself into this," was the response.

"….Grr! I'll get a job here or something! How's that! Then I can pay you back!" Lloyd yelled.

"Oh ho, are you sure you can handle the jobs in this world?" Rebecca smirked.

"Oh yes, I can and I will!"

Later on, they arrived at the local McDonalds.

"This'll be a piece of cake!" Lloyd said confidently.

"Don't die Lloyd…don't die…." Kratos murmured.

"Why would he die?" Michi asked him.

"Because he's a total idiot who will probably screw things up beyond belief."

"True…"

"Well Lloyd, I hope you have fun here!" Colette said oh so cheerfully.

"Good luck Lloyd, try not to screw up too badly," Genis teased.

"Remember Lloyd, don't forget to be interested in your work!" Raine exclaimed.

"Will we get a discount since we know you?" Sheena asked him randomly.

"Umm…good luck…" was what everyone else said.

"Ok guys, here I go!" Lloyd said as he opened the doors to the McDonalds.

"sniff….he was…so young…." Zelos sniffed and wiped his eyes with a hanky.

"What?" everyone asked.

"He…he….HE GOT A JOB AT AGE 17. I'M ALMOST 23 AND STILL DON'T HAVE A JOB. OH, I'M STILL TOO YOUNG, SO LLOYD MUST BE TOO."

"……..Dude, get a life." Genis told him.

"Yay! Genis has learned some of our sayings!" Michi cried and hugged him.((HAHAHA I GOT MICHI TO HUG GENIS SCOOOOORE XDDDD))

End of chapter 3! Next up, we see what happens at Lloyd's job! ZOMG!


	4. HE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY

**Nothing is being owned. NOTHING. Except for Mr. YellowSnow. ilu, Mr. YellowSnow.  
**

Chapter 4 ZOMG! Lloyd gets a job!

Lloyd was hired, surprisingly. But he already lost a few points with the manager because at first because he refused to wear the uniform.

"Aww, that's really ugly!" Lloyd groaned.

"...Just wear it sir..." the manager, Mr. YellowSnow, insisted.

"No way! It looks even worse than your name sounds!"

"...What makes you think that either is ugly?"

"Well come ON! The name YellowSnow....I bet you never had a girlfriend!"

"Actually, I did...until I told her my last name, then she ran...but what makes you think the uniform is ugly?"

"It's so.....uncool! It like...doesn't like, have like, any designs! Like what's with that, like, dude?" Lloyd is overdoing the likes...

"....Just put the frickin thing on or I won't hire you....."

"You can't not hire me! You already hired me!"

"Then I'll fire you if you don't..."

"Good! At least you're like, correct now!" Lloyd said as he ran into the changing room with the uniform.

"Oh my...this is going to be a long day..." YellowSnow sighed.

Later on, Lloyd was taking his very first order.

"I'd like a burger with no pickles or onions, and some fries, and a small drink, please," the person who was ordering said.

"Now now, you shouldn't like, drink while you're driving!" Lloyd scolded.

"When I said "small drink" i meant a SODA..." the person said angrily.

"Oh sir! I'm like, sorry sir!" Lloyd exclaimed as he filled a cup full of fruit juice.

"It's ok...and that's all..."

"Ok, one soda! That's everything!"

"No no no! I asked for a burger with no onions or pickles, some fries, and a soda!"

"Well, why didn't ya say so?"

"I did!"

"Like, just pull up to the window and gimme your cash..."

So the guy rode up to the window and asked "How much?"

"How much what?"

"....How much money you idiot!"

"Oh! Um...that'll be $1,000 sir!" Lloyd said smiling, he had made a huge screw up with the computer, as you can tell.

"What?!"

"You heard me, buddy, now like, pay up!"

"I'm calling your boss!"

"Well, I'm calling Colette, my girlfriend! HEY COLETTE!" Lloyd called.

"Oww!! MY EARS!!" the guy yelled covering his ears, then his elbows accidentally slipped, causing him to slam his head into the steering wheel, causing the horn to blow.

"Damn it! Like, pardon yourself!" Lloyd yelled at the man.

"Oh my God!! I'm leaving!! I'm never eating at another one of these McDonalds again!!!" the man screamed driving away.

"Hey!! What about your food?!" Lloyd called. Then, after looking at it, he ate it.

A few hours later, the boss was talking to Lloyd. Calmly. VERY calmly.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?! ALL OF OUR CUSTOMERS HAVE LEFT, WE DON'T HAVE A SINGLE ONE LEFT THANKS TO YOU!!!!!!"

"Jeez...it just must mean that your food sucks!" Lloyd said eating his 11th cheeseburger.

"THAT'S IT!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!"

"Fire?! Where?!" Lloyd screamed grabbing the fire extinguisher and spraying all the grills and food with it.

"NO!!!!!!!!" YellowSnow screamed grabbing his hair and ripping it out.

"What?! You want your place to burn down?!" Lloyd yelled spraying the walls with the stuff.

"It sounds better than having you here!!" YellowSnow screamed throwing Lloyd outside.

"Hey! What about my paycheck!" Lloyd yelled, running in and then they started beating each other up. Right about now was when the group came to pick up Lloyd. They stared at the sight: Lloyd and YellowSnow beating each other up, the kitchen covered in foam, and the staff watching everything while eating fries that somehow managed to escape the foamy doom.

"What the HELL happened here?!" Sheena yelled pulling Lloyd and YellowSnow away from each other.

"THIS....THIS....THING!!!!!!! THIS THING DESTROYED MY RESTURAUNT!!!!!!"

"HEY!!" LLoyd yelled in anger. Kratos grabbed Lloyd by the ear and dragged him outside. The group left, while YellowSnow started cuddling his chicken nuggets saying "Don't worry, my babies, daddy won't let the crazy freak hurt you anymore...."

"Lloyd! Are you doing this on purpose!" Michi yelled.

"What? I can't help it if I suck!"

"Wow....he must suck a lot if he actually admits it...." Michael said in fear.

"Why are you scared, Michael?" Rebecca asked.

"Because he said he sucks! That's gotta be illegal! And at his age, he really sh--" Michael said when Sloane smacked him.

"Eww!! Michael, not THAT kind of sucking!! He meant as in "he's lousy" sucking!!" Sloane yelled.

"Oh...oops...."

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Well, I'll find another job!!" Lloyd said with shiny eyes.

"Oh no...." Yuan sighed.

"Chance of sucess for Lloyd to be able to keep a job..... -100%..." Presea said slowly.

"Thanks Presea!" Lloyd cheered.

"That wasn't a compliment..." Seles sighed.

End of chapter 4! Next time, Lloyd will work as a teacher! OMG!


	5. Cookie gremlins are very evil

**I own Ms. TwistedMind, Mr. CoffeeCup, and the children of doom. :'D Nothing else. =(**

Chapter 5! Lloyd as a teacher! Omg, thank you for the suggestions Mika!! *hugs Mika*

"Welcome children welcome! I, Ms. TwistedMind, will be on absence, and will be replaced by Mr. Irving!" the weirdo teacher said at the school Lloyd was going to teach at.

"Hiya Mr. Irving!" all the Kindergartners chimed. Yes, kindergartners.

"Good luck, Mr. Irving!" Ms. TwistedMind said, running out of the room shouting "FREEDOM!" in her mind.

"So guys! I am now gonna teach you your ABZs!" Lloyd said pointing to the blackboard. He wrote "A, B, Z, F, R, P, O, K, E, M, O, N, I, L, G, H, Y, Q, U, V, J, X, C, S, T, W!"

"Mr. Irving? Why did you put all the letters in the wrong order?" a young girl asked.

"...Um....I was just testing you! Ha ha! Man, I'm so smart!" Lloyd said, looking at the clock. A boy was then eating a sandwich because he was hungry. Lloyd turned around and saw this...and he said....

"Hey! Give me some of that, I'm hungry!!"

"What? No! Bring your own lunch!" the young boy said, hugging his sandwich like it was his baby.

"GIMME!!" Lloyd yelled pouncing at the boy.

"NO!!! DON'T HURT MY BABY!!!!" the boy screamed slamming Lloyd with the sandwich, breaking it in half!

"YAY!!" Lloyd cried as he devoured half of the sandwich.

"NO!!!! MY PRECIOUS BABY!!!!!!!" the boy screamed, having a mental breakdown.

"Josh! Speak to me!" one of the children cried.

"Uh....I'm going....my baby...is gone.....bye bye...." then Josh disappeared...forever....nah, he just somehow teleported outside to freedom.

"Sniff....he was so young...so innocent...." a girl sobbed. The bell rang suddenly, which caused her to automatically be happy again "Yay, nap time!" She ran to a random pillow, slammed her head into it, and fell asleep. All the kids ran to pillows and fell asleep.

"Hey! What about me!" Lloyd yelled. "I get lonely very easily you know!" No response. "That's it, you're going on the naughty list!" Still no response. "....Oh well." The he ran over to the last pillow, slammed his head into it like the students had done, and fell asleep. When he woke up, he was tied up in yarn.

"I got you! You're my prisoner! Obey me, slave!" a boy laughed evilly. Lloyd just somehow cut it up with his sword.

"No more of that, young man, or you get detention!" Lloyd hissed. The bell rang again.

"Snack time!!" all the kids yelled in high-pitched voices, causing Lloyd's to go temporarily deaf. When I say temporarily, I mean 6 seconds. All the kids pulled out cookies and sat at the table. Lloyd sneaked around, thinking that he wanted a cookie, so he said: "OMG!! LEWK AT THAT!! IT'S SANTY CLAUS!!!" while pointing out the window.

"WHERE?!?!" all the kids screamed, running to the window. Lloyd stole all the cookies then! OMG! BAD LLOYD!

"There ain't no Santy! Don't give us that crap!" a kid snapped after coming back from the window. Lloyd has hidden all of the cookies in his sheath.

"Hey! Don't curse, you naughty little boy!" Lloyd scolded.

"Hey! Where are the cookies!" a girl screamed in a high-pitched voice, causing Lloyd's ears to bleed.

"Um...the COOKIE GREMLIN CAME!!" Lloyd cried, "I tried to fight him, but he overwhelmed me and stole all the cookies!"

"Oh, you're so brave Mr. Irving!" a wierd looking girl said with heart eyes.

"Um...thank you...now please...go over there....." Lloyd said, staring at the scary girl.

"He wants me, guys!" the freaky looking girl yelled.

"I DO NOT!!!" Lloyd screamed, causing him to knock off his sheath, thus the cookies fly all over the place.

"HEY!! YOU STOLE THE COOKIES!!" all the kids screamed again, man, poor Lloyd's ears can't take much more of this..

"NO I DIDN'T!!!! THE COOKIE GREMLIN MUST HAVE HID THEM THERE!!! BAD GREMLIN!!! COME OUT AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!!!" Lloyd yelled, trying to conceal his secret.

"Oooooh Lloyd, you're sooooo cool!" the freaky girl said again.

"U-um.....uh....someone h-help me...." Lloyd said backing up.

"What's wrong?! Did you hurt yourself?! I'll KISS it better!!" the freaky girl said advancing on Lloyd.

"Oh....ah....AAAAAH!!!!!!!" Lloyd screamed gathering up all the cookies and running for the Principle's office ((can kindergardeners HAVE a principle? O.o)).

"Oh, what's wrong, Mr. Irving?" the principle, Mr. CoffeeCup, asked.

"FIRE ME!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Um...you're fired...?"

"OH!!!! THANK YOU MR. COFFEECUP, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE A COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lloyd screamed throwing the principle a cookie and running out of the school as fast as his legs could carry him.

Back at the house... Everyone was dying from laughter about Lloyd's story.

"AHAHAHA!!!! LLOYD'S GOT A NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!" Rebecca laughed clinging to a pillow.

"OH LLOYD, WHEN'S YOUR FIRST DATE?!?!?! AHAHAHAH!!!!!!" Sheena squealed, falling on the floor and rolling around.

"Nice job Lloyd!!!! HAHAHAH!!!!!" Michi laughed so hard her sides hurt.

"SHUT UP, EVERYONE!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lloyd yelled, eating the last cookie to make the pain go away.

"Yes, it is!" Kratos said, stiffling a laugh.

"Grrrr...I'd like to see YOU get a job, Kratos!" Lloyd yelled.

"Fine. I will."

"Wow...you will?"

"Yes, I will."

"Ok, then let's see who's better!"

End of chapter 5! Next time, Kratos works at WAL-MART ZOMG


	6. Put that on my credit card, plzkthx

**The crazy OC(s) of this chapter be mien. Nothin' else. =(**

**-**

Chapter 6! Kratos works at WAL-MART!

"So Mr. Aurion, I'll see you later!" said Mr. LottaLaffs, running off happily. Kratos walked around the store, looking for customers who needed his help. A kid was riding one of the bikes around.

"You aren't supposed to do that...you should stop or you might get hurt," Kratos said taking hold of one of the handle bars.

"Aww, shove it up your butt!" the kid said riding over Kratos' foot. Kratos had the urge to use Grave on the kid but he found it would be wise not to. He continued walking. He walked into the video gaming area. He saw "Tales of Symphonia" in the case. As he was looking, two random girls walked up to him.

"Hey, aren't you like, Kratos Aurion?" one girl said with a rapid look in her eyes.

"Um.....um....no.....I'm.......I'm...Jake Jack! Yeah!" Kratos stuttered.

"Then why do you look like Kratos Aurion?" the other rapid-eyed girl asked.

"Well...um....I'm a....fan!"

"No you're not, you're Kratos!"

"I am not! Kratos is...not like me!"

"Oh really! Then PROVE it!"

"Um....." Kratos looked over to the food section and saw the tomatoes. "Oh! I thought of a way!" He ran over to the tomatoes and reluctantly shoved one in his mouth.

"Oh....that really must just be a fan....phfft, why are we still paying attention?" one of the girls asked as they walked away.

"Eww....I can't believe I ate that...." Kratos groaned. Later on, Kratos was working in the flower department, when a little girl walked up to him.

"Where's my mommy?" she asked.

"I don't know where you mother is....do you want me to help you look for her?"

"Yes please!"

The girl led Kratos to the food area.

"You last saw her around here?"

"Yes, right over here!" She led him to a big crate and then pushed him in! And guess what it was filled with? Yup, that's right, TOMATOES.

"HAHAHAHAH!!!! I GOT YOU!!!!!"

"Gah!! I mean....I love tomatoes! Especially swimming in them! I do it every day!!" Kratos lied, almost ready to cast Judgment on everyone in the store.

"YOU ARE NOW MY SLAVE!!!!!!" the girl said evily, "Well, my fangirl-ish sister's slave but our slave none-the-less...but anyway! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA......AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hell no!" Kratos yelled jumping out of the tomato crate and running to the bathroom to wipe himself off. Too bad he went in the women's bathroom. Poor guy.

While Kratos was recovering from the combo of tomatoes and female bathrooms, he walked around looking for something to do. He decided to fill in for someone at the check-out. Someone lugged over a large amount of stuff. Of course, they brought some TOMATOES to buy. Of course. Can't have a Kratos torture chapter without them. Kratos flinched.

"So, how are you doing, Mr. Aurion?" the man asked, lookin at Kratos' name tag.

"...Just fine....how about you?" Kratos asked slowly while trying to avoid touching the tomatoes as much as possible.

"Just great! I'm having myself tomato soup for dinner!"

"How joyful."

"I know! Don't tomatoes just warm your stomach when you eat them?"

"....Well, they do do something to my stomach....they don't warm it though...."

"Oh....well, please hurry up, my wife is waiting for me!"

"Alright alright..." Kratos gently fingered the tomatoes and ran them through the scanner. "Your total is $67.87..."

"Credit card."

"...What?"

"I'm using a credit card!"

"...A what?"

"Man, what school did you go to?"

"...Just hand over the cash..."

"I TOLD YOU I'M USING A CREDIT CARD!"

"WHAT IN GODDESS' NAME IS A CREDIT CARD!!"

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU NOT KNOW?!"

"I DON'T GET AROUND MUCH, OK!?!"

Later on...

"Mr. Aurion. I am angry. No one likes to see Mr. LottaLaffs angry. I get scary. I get mean. I get nasty!" Mr. LottaLaffs said angrily.

"Be quiet...I'm quitting..."

"GOOD!!! YOU'RE SO DUMB YOU COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY ASS AND A HOLE IN THE ROAD!!!"

"......Scared Powers, cast your purifying light upon this IDIOTIC, ANNOYING, TOMATO LOVING SOUL! REST IN PEACE, YOU ANNOYING PERSON! JUDGEMENT!!!" The Wal-mart exploded, while Kratos flew back to the house with a little money that had flown from Mr. LottaLaff's pockets.

"Kratos....I'm shocked....that was an immature thing to do!" Michi said to Kratos.

"Yeah...I'm sorry...."

"Did I say it was a bad thing?"

"....No...."

"NOW YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA FIT INTO OUR WORLD!!" Michael cried happily. Meanwhile Yuan was watching Rolie Polie Olie on Playhouse Disney.

"He's the swellest kid, the swellest kid around, WHEE!!" he sang along.

"....I'm now officially scared of Yuan...." Sloane said.

"Oh look! The doors have eyes!!!!" Yuan squealed happily.

"....What have we done? We've changed him into a monster!!" Rebecca cried.

"We should have never introduced him to TV!!" Michi said sadly.

"Calm down...he was like this when he got his first pet...the infatuation will wear off in a little bit..." Kratos told them.

"Hey guys! I'm gonna get a job tommorrow!!" Zelos called.

"Oh no...." everyone else said except Yuan because he was too involved in watching ROLIE STINKIN POLIE FRICKIN OLIE ((Sorry...it's just that I don't like the show much at all anymore xD ))

End of chapter 6!


	7. Boobies anyone?

**The crazy OC(s) of this chapter be mien. Nothin' else. =(**

**-  
**

Chapter 7! Zelos gets a job! OMGZ...not good. Oh and just a warning...this chapter has some questionable stuff, 'cuz it's a chapter on Zelos after all xD

((We all know Zelos loves women. We all know he's a perv. And we also know that if he were to put on a dress he'd be even easier to mistake for a girl than he is already.))

"Now, you have plenty of expirience with these things, right?" Mrs. TightFit asked Zelos.

"Yup yup! I AM a girl after all! I'm not a man that looks like a girl, I'm totally female! Wanna see the proof?" Zelos asked winking. Mrs. TightFit shivered.

"Um...no...just get ready for your first day working at Victoria's Secrets....((Thank you, Michi, for giving me this suggestion! XD)) What was your name again?"

"Um....Zelette! Zelette Wilder!"

"Um...ok, "Zellette", please go over to the customer service booth and wait for people who need help."

A little bit later...

"Um, excuse me miss...I need some help, I can't find my size bra...." a girl said walking up to the customer service booth.

"Oh ho! You've come to the right place, little lady with a nice chest!" Zelos said, holding up random bras.

"Um....thank you? Anyway....I think that's my size, right there..." the girl said pointing to a bra that was on Zelos' head.

"Oh! There ya go! From my head to your chest!" Zelos said handing it to her.

"Um.....thanks....are you on drugs?"

"Is that what turns you on?"

"..........." the girl said, then she walked away to the check-out counter, she wanted to get out of there, FAST.

"Hmm, I must just be too sexy for her..."

A little later...

"Zelette, we need you to restock the shelves in the panties section," Mrs. TightFit said.

"Ok! Leave it to the great Zelette!" Zelos said running off to the panties section. Everyone that walked by saw him huggling all of them before he put them on the shelf. People were very disturbed at this sight. After awhile Mrs. TightFit was getting nervous.

"Um...Zelette....we need to talk..."

"Aww! But we haven't even gotten together yet!! I MEAN--I haven't even worked here for a day!" Zelos complained.

"....Um....well, it's about your behaviour...."

"Uh oh...I was acting like myself, wasn't I? Oops...I meant...I was acting like a man, wasn't I?"

"....YOU! YOU'RE A MAN!!" Mrs. TightFit shrieked, pulling off Zelos' fake boobs.

"Uh oh...Time to run!!!" Zelos screamed, running around the store, picking up random bras and panties while doing so.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU PERVERT!!!"

"NEVAH!!!!! I WILL HAVE MY BELOVED UNDIES!!!!!!!" Zelos ran out the door, causing the alarm to go off. Mrs. TightFit fainted. When the police arrived they thought the alarm went off because she had passed out and hit the alarm box, so they just left, leaving Mrs. TightFit unconcious to be stomped on by customers.

Back at the house...

"YOU WORKED WHERE AND DID WHAT!!!!!!" the four Earth children screamed at Zelos, and with his super Angelic hearing, it REALLY hurt.

"Butbutbut....it was my destiny! It was CALLING TO ME!!" Zelos said with tears in his eyes.

"Dang, unless Mrs. TightFit gets amnesia from being stepped on, you're gonna be in trouble..." Michi sighed, putting her hand to her forehead. Just then, Yuan turned on the TV and there was news...

"We'd like to report that Mrs. TightFit, manager of this town's local Victoria's Secrets, has amnesia!" then Yuan turned the channel to PBS Kids, he wanted to watch Barney.

"Hey guys, guess what!" Yuan said happily.

"You've regained your sanity?" Kratos asked.

"Nope!"

"You're gonna take off your cape?" Sheena asked.

"Hell no woman! Are you crazy!"

"You're gonna shave your head?" Lloyd asked.

"Hell no!"

"You're gonna cosplay as Barney for a Barney convention, if there IS such a thing?" Genis snorted.

"Close, young man, close! I won the contest!!"

"What contest?" Colette asked Yuan.

"THE contest! THE Barney contest!!" Yuan screamed.

"What did you win? A whole buncha Barney plushies?" Rebecca asked.

"Nope! I won....A GUEST STAR APPEARANCE IN TOMMORROW'S SHOW!!!!!" Yuan screamed even louder.

"Oh my....I'm usually totally against watching Barney, but I gotta see this...." Sloane said.

End of chapter 7! Next chapter, Yuan gets a guest star appearance on BARNEY!!

Zelos: WTH was with that name!

Me: Eh, I've given all you males silly girl names xD

Kratos: She named me Kratina...how repulsive...

Genis: She called me Genitta...

Regal: She called me Regella....

Lloyd: I'm Lloyla...

Yuan: I am Yuanetta....

Mithos: I'm Meishos..

Me: Don't you just LOVE your names?

All: .....

Me: I knew you'd see it my way!

**Mar 2010: Those names make me want to cry. They're so bad. XD**


	8. Yuan loves you, Yuan loves me

**The crazy OC(s) of this chapter be mien. Nothin' else. =(**

**-**

Chapter 8! Yuan guest stars on Barney! Whee!!

The gang ran to the TV and turned it on. The episode of Barney with Yuan as a guest star was about to begin!

"Hello everyone, I am Mr. LoveHate, on the newest episode of BARNEY AND FRIENDS!!!!! Today, we have a GUEST STAR! HIS NAME IS YUAN! EVERYONE WELCOME YUAN!!!"

Yuan ran onto the set.

"Hi!! I'm Yuan!! I'm a HUGE fan of Barney and Friends, and it is an honor to be here!"

"Yes, Mr. Yuan. The show is about to begin, please, sit in the school house and wait until Barney comes. We can only shoot things once, so don't mess it up!" Mr. LoveHate snapped, sitting down in his chair. "Action!"

Barney walked into the school house.

"Hello, everybody!"

"OMFG!! IT'S BARNEY!!!" squealed Yuan, jumping up and cuddling Barney.

"Hey! You can't use words like that on this show! And it's not huggle time yet!" Barney cried.

"Aww, I'm sorry…" Yuan sniffed, sitting down on the ground with a depression cloud over his head.

"Now kids, what shall we do today?" Barney asked.

"OOH I KNOW I KNOW!! LET'S PLAY "CUDDLE THE BARNEY!!!" OR MAYBE "LET'S WEAR CAPES WITH YUAN!!"" Yuan cried, jumping up and down.

"Um…let's try the Cape game! We've never done that before!" Barney said, "Hand me your cape, Yuan!"

"WHAT!! YOU EXPECT ME TO PART WITH MY CAPE!! HOW COULD YOU!!! MY HERO…I CAN'T BELIEVE MY HERO IS BETRAYING ME!!!!!!!" Yuan screamed, clinging to a pillow.

"Um…there there….I'm sorry…" Barney said, patting Yuan's back.

"THANK YOU!!!!" Yuan screamed clinging to Barney.

"Um…you're welcome…kids, go get some capes or blankets and let's play "Let's Wear Capes with Yuan"!" Barney said, pushing Yuan off of him. The kids ran and put on blankets.

"Now Yuan, how do we play?"

"Well, first of all, ya gotta rub it gently…" Yuan said, rubbing his gently. Everyone did the same. "Then, ya gotta cuddle it. Then, ya gotta get in a bed with it ((WTF 8D)) and make baby capelings! And then get married!" Yuan squealed. Everyone stared in disgust at Yuan.

"Yuan…yeah…this is a KIDS show…. Barney said to Yuan.

"So! We can still make capelings! It's not like I'd do it on TV! BY MYSELF! I'D HAVE YOU ALL DO IT TOO!!" Yuan shrieked.

"Um, Yuan, you can't do stuff like that on a kid's show…"

"Then you must kill all the kids!" Yuan said, aiming his lighting ball at the children on the set. They died. Then he shot Barney, who also died.

"NOW THE SHOW IS MINE!!!! ALL MINE!!!!! I SHALL CALL IT…YUAN AND FRIENDS!!!!" He then took out a buncha capes and sang this song:

"I love capes

Capes love me

We're a big happy family

With a great big cuddle

And a capeling from me and you

Won't you say

"I luv capes" too?"

"OMG…YOU KILLED BARNEY!!!!!" Mr. LoveHate screamed.

"SO! HE WAS MY…LAST SECOND'S HERO, NOW MY NEW HERO IS…PIKACHU!!!" Yuan said with shiny eyes.

"DID I SAY THAT WAS A BAD THING!! THIS IS GREAT!! I CAN HIRE A NEW GUY!!! I was getting tired of the currant guy, he was too….last week…"

"What happened to the other's?"

Mr. LoveHate got an evil look.

"You really wanna know?"

"Um…I'll be leaving…thank you kiddies, for watching YUAN AND FRIENDS!!! I will NOT be back next week, hope ya enjoyed the show, buh-bye!!" Yuan yelled running off the set. After this, everyone at the house was laughing so hard they hurt, even Kratos, Regal, and Presea!

"Dang, I gotta watch this show more often!" Sloane said in-between laughs.

"Me too!" Michi giggled.

"Oh sure, hyuck it up, everyone…" Yuan said, grumpily, apparently his encounter with Mr. LoveHate had helped him regain his sanity…for now.

"We're doing just that!" Michael replied.

"Um, everyone? I would like to try to get a job tomorrow…" Colette said shyly.

"Colette? Having a job? Uh oh…" Rebecca whispered.

"Let's just hope no one find out she lives here for now…" Raine sighed.

End of chapter 8! Up next, Colette gets a job! WHEE!!


	9. Side order of insanity with my pizza plz

**The crazy OC(s) of this chapter be mien. Nothin' else. =( Also, yay for being so lazy that I'm just copy/pasting the same disclaimer. o.o  
**

-

Chapta 9 is here!! WHEEE!!!

Colette was walking around the restaurunt. She was a waitress. Mr. BlubberPhat had hired her. He said waitresses turn him on. She flinched, but is working anyway. She walked over to a table.

"Hello! My name is Colette and I'll be your waitress this evening! Can I get you something to drink?"

"Um, I'll have a root beer please," said the child that was sitting at the table by himself which is odd. But anyway...

"Um, ok! I'll go get it!!" Colette ran off and went to the bar area. She thought that the kid had meant actual beer. She took out a Coors Light and poured some into a dark mug. She ran back to the child and said:

"Here you go! Enjoy!"

"Thank you, ma'am!" the child said sweetly.

Later on...

"WAHOOO!!!!!!!" the child screamed, jumping on the table.

"What the heck...?" Colette and the other staff members asked looking at the child, who was a boy.

"LOOK AT ME!!!!! I'M DA KING!!!!!!!!!" the child screamed grabbing a bowl and slamming it on his head.

"Maybe I should have told him that he shouldn't have beer....." Colette muttered to herself.

"WHEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIYA, PRETTY LADY!!!!!!!!!" the boy screamed jumping at Colette.

"Um....hi?"

"MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SHALL BE DA QUEEN, WHILST I AM DA KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"...No."

"WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!!?"

"'Cuz....um....I have....a boyfriend!"

"WHAT?!?!?!?? WHERE IS THE PEASANT?!? I SHALL KILL HIM!!!!"

"Now listen here! If you lay one finger on him I'll kick your royal butt so hard that....that....it'll hurt!"

"MY LADY DON'T LOVE MEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD BYE, CRUEL WORLD......" the child vanished randomly.

"Um....so, who wants desert!" Colette said cheerfully, causing everyone in the room to sweat drop.

Later on...

"Oh, I'll be right with you!" Colette said skipping up to a table.

"I'll have a pepperoni pizza, VERY heavy on the sauce, I LOVE a lot of sauce! I want the sauce so heavy that if it were to spill on someone that the stain could never come out! I just love to watch people suffer like that....heheh....and a small Pepsi please!" a woman said.

"Um...ok...." Colette said nervously, then she went to the kitchen.

After awhile...

"Here you go!" Colette said skipping up to the table with the pizza.

"YESSSSS!!!!" the woman hissed and she shoved her hand into the pizza, "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!" She starts throwing the sauce-y slices of pizza at everyone! Several people got huge stains!

"OH MY!!" Colette cried, dodging the pizza slices.

"WITH THIS PIZZA...I WILL TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the woman shrieked throwing more pizza.

"...I must...save the day!" Colette said, striking a pose. She ran into the kitchen and grabbed several jars of sauce.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the woman laughed.

"HEY BRUNHILDA!!!!! EAT THIS!!!!!" Colette yelled, throwing the pizza sauce at the woman. It got all over her.

"AHH!!!!! NOOOOO.....I'M.......You thought I was gonna say melting didn't you? WELL THINK AGAIN!!!!! I SHALL...RETURN!!!!!!!" the woman hissed vanishing.

"YOU'RE TEH HERO, COLETTE!!!!!!" everyone cheered.

"Heheh, oh well, it's just what I do!" Colette said blushing. Oh brother. Anyway...

After a few hours of nothing going wrong....

"Here you a--Oops!!" Colette cried, tripping and causing chocolate cakes, pizzas, and bloody Mary's at everyone. Everyone was pissed off. Mr. BlubberPhat fired Colette, even though he said she was hot.

"Well....you were doing good for awhile, anyway!" Sloane said, trying to cheer Colette up.

"Yeah! You almost had it!" Michi said.

"Yeah...I guess...." Colette sighed.

"Colette...um...you really were...doing well..." Lloyd said.

"...THANK YOU!!!!" Colette jumped on Lloyd.

"HEY GUYS!!!!" Yuan cried. Apparently he had regained his INsanity from earlier. How joyful.

"What?" was everyone's monotone reply.

"I WON A GUEST STAR APPEARANCE ON THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE!!!!"

"...Well, this should be interesting...." Rebecca said.

"Yup...." Kratos sighed.

End of chapter 9!!!


	10. He's a very special angel, you know

**The OC(s) present in this chapter are all that I own. Whoooooooo.**

**-**

"Hello everyone, my name is Mr. GreasyCheese, live on Thomas the Tank Engine~! We have a special guest star today! Let's get rolling so we can meet him!"

Scene changes to the Engine shed...Sir Topham Hat is making an announcement...what else is new?

"I would like to make an announcement! We are having a new engine come tot he Island of Sodor to help you."

"Damn it, how many damn engines do you need?!" James hissed...he doesn't like sticking to the script apparently. And he seems to forget that this is a little kids' show...ah well.

"..Erm...as many "damn" engines as needed!" Sir Topham said indignantly, before wobbling off. He doesn't like sticking to the script either it seems.

"Oh boy! I can't wait to see him!" Percy exclaimed.

"Or she," Henry said, dreaming of the day when he'd meet a girl, and have a happy family with 5 bouncing baby engine-lings.

Suddenly...

"TOOT TOOT!!!! HEY GUYS!!! I'M HERE!!!!!" came a voice.

"...I hate him already..." Gordon hissed.

"Or her!" corrected Henry.

"....The announcer, Mr. GreasyCheese, said that it was a "him"..."

"He could be lying!"

"...."

A gray engine with a big clump of blue hair-like fibers and a gigantic cape attached to the boiler rolled in...

"Hey guys! I'm Yuan!!!" the engine, who is Yuan apparently, said happily.

"...If my eyes could be shown moving, they'd be twitching like mad, but on TV we're only allowed to make our pupils roll around, so...my brain will twitch instead..." Duck said.

"Hey guys! How are you?! I'm Yuan!! And I'm here to help!!" Yuan said blowing his whistle so loud that if the Engine's had visible ears they'd be bleeding...and if they had blood for that matter that is....but anyways.

"....Welcome to Sodor!" Thomas said, trying to put a positive spin on things.

"Thanks!!!! Now, what's meh first job?!"

"Um...you could take some coal trucks down to the mine..."

"Ok!!!!!!"

Yuan sped off to take some coal trucks to the mine. The trucks like to play pranks, as we all know. But they'll be doing something different with Yuan...

"Hehehehe I can't wait to prank this guy!" one truck said.

"I know! Heheheh..." another one said.

"Now you pesky trucks, I know you like to play pranks! But I'm different...I'm not bossy or annoying! I will have fun with you!" Yuan said cheerfully.

"...O rly...." one truck said, not so sure. And man, I gotta stop using my comp speak.

"Yup! I will sing you a song! Ahem....this old 'gine! He made one! He made on 'ling with his hun! With a knick-knack paddy-whack give the hun a 'dom! This old 'gine came rolling home!" Yuan sang.

"....OMG!!!!!!" all the trucks cried. And for the next 20 minutes the poor trucks were at the mercy of Yuan's perverted singing.

Later on...

"Yuan, take a break, have a drink, you've been riding around all day..." Yuan's driver told him.

"Hee ok!!!!!" Yuan rolled up to a water tower, and began to have a drink. But the driver accidentally got some of the water on Yuan's cape......

"OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY CAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuan screamed, and rolled off before the driver could get back in the cab. The driver now has a concussion. Yuan zoomed all over the Island, magically not crashing into anyone, until his cape dried off. Then he crashed into a wall. Ouch. Anyway...after he was magically quickly repaired...

"Well, I believe it is time for you to go back home Yuan. We will....miss you...." Sir Topham Hat lied.

"*Sniff* I know~! I will miss you too!! I have a present for you all! Everyone gather close!!"

It took 20 minutes for all the engines and Sir Topham hat to be in exactly the right spots for Yuan.

"I REALLY hate him...." Gordon hissed.

"It still could be a her!" Henry snapped.

"...Shut the fuck up..." Oooh! Very bad Gordon! Oh well.

"Now..to show you all I care..and that I will miss you.." Yuan started.

"Yeah what?!" everyone yelled.

"..I will give you this!!!!" Yuan sprouted his wings and flew off the ground, and flew above the group, then put the wings back: "ENGINE GLOMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

....

Gordon, Henry, and Toby all died that day. Sir Topham Hat is in the hospital now. Everyone else is being repaired.

Back at home...everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't speak.

"What? So? I didn't like those three that died..." Yuan pouted.

"NICE JOB YUAN!!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE THEY OUGHTA HIRE YOU AS AN ASSASSIN!!! I can see it now...Yuan, the Engine Assassinator of D00M!!!" Michi laughed.

"Oh boy Yuan! I never thought I'd enjoy that show ever again, but I LOVED it today!!" Michael laughed.

"Nice job Yuan!! I'll stick up for you in the Engine court!" Sloane said.

But while everyone else was laughing and happy...Kratos was in the corner.

"Yuan and Lloyd keep getting all the attention....well...now it's my turn...I will earn the attention and fandom I deserve!" Kratos thought to himself. Then he walked off to finish plotting.

WHAT SHALL HAPPEN NEXT??? You'll have to wait till next time. 8DD Hope you enjoyed chapter 10! 8D See ya!


	11. Vote for Kratty 2012

**I own nothing. My friend Breanna wanted her character in this instead of herself, and Martha gave me permission to put her in as well, though in future chapters I kinda forgot to put them in. Just like I somehow managed to do with Seles. I'll try to remember to put Sachi and Martha in more. I might leave Seles missing just for the lulz. What do you think?**

**-  
**

CHAPTER 11 8DDDD

Hee hee time for chapter 11! 8DD wewt wewt!!

The sun began to rise on the small house that the Tales of Symphonia group was staying in along with the four Earth children. Today was going to be full of surprises, good and shocking.

The door bell rang in the morning air.

"I'll get it!" Michael shouted, as he was the first one fully changed. Behind the door were two girls, one with shoulder length blonde hair, and the other with longer blonde hair. They both had bright blue eyes, and wide smiles.

"Hello, I am Sachi (Breanna's character), a friend of Michi and Sloane. You must be Michael," the long haired girl said with a small smile.

"And I'm Martha, I'm also a friend of theirs," the other girl said smiling. At the next instant the two blondes were glomped by the two brunettes.

"Hi!!" Michi and Sloane cried at their two friends.

"Hihi," Sachi and Martha said with smiles.

Michi and Sloane introduced Martha and Sachi to Rebecca and Michael. Then they introduced them to to the Tales of Symphonia group. Martha and Sachi spazzed big time, because I mean, characters from a video game they loved were standing right in front them for pete's sake!

Later on that day...

"Excuse me..." Kratos said, standing up.

"Where ya goin?" Lloyd asked.

"Um..just out for a bit.." Kratos said and then he rushed out the door.

"I wonder what's eating him..." Sheena wondered.

"He's been acting a bit wierd lately..." Rebecca said.

"Yes..I wonder what's wrong?" Colette said in worry.

"Ahh, let him go, he gets like this a lot and you know it." Lloyd sighed.

About an hour later, the TV switched on by itself. The group was shocked by this, and gathered around.

"Greetings." Kratos appeared on the TV.

"Oh...my...gosh..." everyone said, then they decided to listen.

"I have become the new leader of this country called "America" ...in ways I will not tell you. I am Kratos Aurion. But you may call me Mr. President." Suddenly, a bright light surrounded the group, and they were teleported to the White House, behind Kratos.

"What the?!" the group burst out.

"Welcome to the White House of the country, The United States of Aurionerica, my companions." Kratos said calmly.

"Au-Aurionerica..?!" they all shouted.

"Yes." Kratos then turned back to the screen, "Now, here is the new National Anthem.." Kratos' theme from the game began to play. Michi and Sloane were unable to resist, and they started singing.

"Who's that man in the dress?! Why's his hair all a'mess?! Why, do you realize, that that is a special person?! His name is Kratina!! Oooooh Kratina! Oooooh Kratina! Why do you cross dress?! Ooooh Kratina! Ooooh Kratina! Why waste your manliness?! " Kratos promptly grabbed the two by their wrists and glared.

"That will be enough of that! You two...are to clean my swords. Be gone!" He then threw the two into a room full of swords.

"...Uhm... I guess we better get started..." Michi said. The two sat down to clean the swords.

"Eh..we did kinda deserve this...we DID embarress him on public TV..." Michi continued.

"True...this is probably not going to be too bad...Kratos is a good person really, he wouldn't do anything crazy or anything...would he?" Sloane asked. The two glanced at each other.

"....Nah." they said in unison, and began to clean the swords.


	12. Can't we just impeach him? Guess not

**If you've made it this far, you know what I own. Thank you for bearing with my silliness, I hope it's ok. xD; I think of weird shit.**

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Here is chapter 12~ 8D And I would like to thank mah sista Michi for the help with this chapter! 8D Thank you for the ideas sis! 8DD *huggles*

ROFL LOL TOS SPOILERS

After Michi and Sloane had finished cleaning the swords...

Michi ran to Genis and clung to him.

"Oh my gosh!! It was so awful in there!! Hold me Genis!!!!" Michi cried burying her face in Genis' chest. ((Don't kill me Michi, please don't xD;; ))

"Um...um...heh um...." Genis stuttered while blushing, then he hugged Michi, "It'll be ok..."

"Hey hey hey! How come you won't cling to me?" complained Zelos, who was then promptly clung to by Michi.

"Hee hee Michi loves Zelos and Genis," Sloane said happily.

"EXCUSE ME!!" Kratos boomed to get the group's attention, "Thank you. Now, I would like to place my first law." He took out a scroll.

"I wonder what kind of laws he has planned..." Martha wondered.

"The first law under my rule is....tomatoes are hereby banned from the country!" Kratos yelled over the loud speaker.

"But what about pizza!" Michael cried.

"Okay little boy, you all can have tomato products on the 35th of February."

"..Wait, there is no such date..."

"I know." Kratos smirked.

"Well...I think we can live without pizza..." Sachi said.

"Now, for my next law! Starting tommorrow...everyone Aurionerican is to wear many belts with their outfits! Belts on the arms, legs, waist, shoes...everywhere. Just like my Judgement Outfit," he said as he magically appeared in his Judgement outfit.

"Okay...this is starting to get weird..." Sheena whispered.

"Now...there is a sweet food law! You cannot eat anything other than sweet foods except on a special day every week. Which day I have yet to determine, but I will alert the public once I have decided." Kratos announced.

"Yum...." everyone said.

"...I hereby declare every Tuesday "Angel Appreciation Day"! Angels need more appreciation!" Kratos announced.

"Uhm...should the public really know we're angels?" Colette asked, rather loudly, and they were still on TV. Wow. Great job Colette.

"I declare September 30th "Anti-Kvar Day"!"

"Eheheh...heheh...heh...what's the point since Kvar is dead...?" Sloane said, being the sarcastic kid that she is, which is why she gets in trouble so much.

"That'll be enough of that," Kratos said as he glared, "Now...Every Friday is now "Serious Day"! It is a day where you must be serious like myself. You cannot laugh on that day, you cannot do anything to have fun, you cannot smile, or ANYTHING of the like on Serious Day."

"...This is starting to get out of hand..." Zelos said scratching his head. Kratos turns to Zelos and grinned evily.

"Also, I hereby BAN the wearing of MAN THONGS in Aurionerica!!"

"What?!? NOOOO!!!" Zelos cried, collapsing to his knees.

"That is all for now...all of these laws take place starting tomorrow. You may go home now." Kratos then teleported the group back to the small house.

"Wow...that was weird..." Rebecca said.

"I wonder what's made Kratos like this..." Lloyd wondered.

"Well...all we can do is hope things don't go nuts...or that this is just a dream..." Seles said.

"Yeah...Kratos wouldn't do anything to us!" Colette cried.

"I certainly hope not..." Regal muttered under his breath.

"...These laws are 100 % insane." Presea said simply.

"Ehh...we'll see how things turn out...I guess..." Michi said, not so sure however.

The next day...

"Oww...so many belts...how does he stand wearing this type of outfit?!" Martha burst out. The entire group was wearing outfits covered in belts. It wasn't that comfortable..

"I don't know...I guess we just have to get used to them..." Sachi said.

"Oh hey, it's Angel Appreciation Day!" Colette said, trying to remain optimistic.

"Yay." everyone else said blankly.

Just then, Kratos came riding by on a huge float.

"Attention citizens, it is Angel Appreciation Day! Treat us Angels with respect!" Kratos boomed over a bullhorn. All the neighbors were outside. They started laughing. Suddenly, a whole bunch of robotic soldiers popped out of nowhere and started seizing the neighbors.

"Oh..my...God..." Rebecca said as they watched the people being locked up in a random moving jail attached to the float.

"Ah...silly simpletons. They really should learn to follow laws..." Kratos sighed, as he looked at his companions, "At least some people follow the laws. I knew I would be able to count on my companions. Well, I must be off." Kratos then flew off, while the robotic soldiers drove the float away and carried the prisoners back to the White House.

"....Holy crap!! Kratos is a mad man!!" Zelos cried, feeling rather uncomfortable since he isn't used to not wearing man thongs.

"Now now guys...I'm sure Kratos is just going through a state and will be back to normal before you know it," Raine said.

"I hope so...because to think that that crazy man is my DAD..." Lloyd trailed off.

The next day, Sheena was caught not eating something sugary for breakfast by a robotic soldier...

"Let me go!! I forgot okay?! I'm not used to this!!" Sheena screamed as the soldier grabbed onto her and began to teleport her to a cell.

"That is the fault of your human brain. You must either surrender or your punishment will be more severe." the soldier said monotonely. Then the soldier teleported Sheena away.

"This is awful!! They captured Sheena!!" Michi cried.

"What's going on with Kratos?! Why's he doing this!!" Genis wailed.

"Calm down. It's only a matter of time before he'll realize what he is doing wrong." Raine said calmly.

"You sure sound calm Raine..." Michi said, with a crocked eyebrow.

"It is better to remain calm than to panic," was the simple response.

The next day, Zelos figured that he could wear a thong, because I mean hey! How would it be known, right?!

"HEY!!! STOP X-RAYING ME!!!!!!" Zelos shouted, as a soldier held up Zelos and x-rayed through his pants to reveal a thong.

"Take him away." Kratos said, as the solder then started to fly off with Zelos in tow, with Kratos following behind.

"My God...this is scary..." Sloane squeaked.

"Yeah! Kratos just keeps picking us off and throwing us into jail!!" Genis cried.

"No, I meant the fact that we were there when the soldier x-rayed Zelos to check for the thong..."

"...Yeah that too."

The next day, Colette forgot to wear the required amount of belts.

"Oww!! I'm sorry!! I'm sooo sorry!! I forgot!! I deserve to be thrown into jail!! I'm sooo sorry!! Let me pay for my crime!!" Colette cried and the robotic soldiers carried her off.

"Colette too?! Who next?!" Martha cried.

"We've got to come up with a plan to stop this insanity..." Regal said, his head hung.

Michi and Sloane looked at each other. Them, being sisters ((SCREW GENETICS!!!!!!!)), often knew what the other was thinking.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Michi asked Sloane.

"If you're thinking that we should break a law so we get thrown in so we can formulate a plan and infiltrate the place, then yes..."

"Yep. Okay, let's do it!"

A little later..

"Hey Kratos!!" the two shouted.

"What is it, my faithful followers?" Kratos asked calmly.

"We don't wanna wear belts!!" Michi shouted, as she and Sloane threw off their belts. Kratos' eye twitched slightly at the rebellious move.

"AND!! We don't wanna eat sweet food all day!!" Sloane yelled, throwing a whole bunch of candy into a random manhole into the sewer. Kratos' eye began to twitch in anger.

"AND WE LIKE TOMATOES!!!!!" they both shouted, taking out tomatoes and throwing them at Kratos. That was the last straw for Kratos.

"...GRR!! TAKE THEM AWAY!!" Kratos yelled at his robotic soldiers. The robotic soldiers seized the two girls, and began to drag them into the White House to the prison area. The two girls grinned at each other. This was what they had hoped for. They were going to bust out and infiltrate the White House and put a stop to Kratos' insane deeds.


	13. HE HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAAY

**I be ownin' the OCz. Also, this is the first chapter I wrote last year. I think some things are a bit different, but overall, it's still pretty insane/strange/etc. xD**

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CHAPTAH 13. LULZ.

Michi and Sloane were carried into the new White House jail thing, and were tossed in. When the robot soldiers had gone, they began to think things over.

"We gotta think of a way to get out of here and stop Kratos' madness.." Michi whispered.

"Hm.." Sloane hm'ed.

"Hm?"

"Hmm."

"Hmmmm?"

"Hmmm!"

"What?"

"No idea."

"..."

"Oh, I know. I'll do a round house kick on the door. That always works for Chuck Norris!" Sloane said, and did a round house kick on the door. A choice she regretted immediately.

"Oww oww oww oww oww.." she said, falling on the floor.

"Are you ok!" Michi asked, helping her up.

"Yeah..sorta. Thanks," Sloane said with an embaressed laugh.

Just then, one of the robotic soldiers walked over to the door. "Psst, gals, over here."

"What do you want?" Michi asked.

"I don't exactly agree with Kratos' way of ruling, so I'll let you and your friends go...if you do something for me."

"And that would be...?"

"Hook me up with that hunkity hunky hunk Regal, and I'll let you all out!" the female robot said all giggly like. Michi and Sloane looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

"O-Okay, we'll hook you up with your..hunkity hunky hunk.." Michi giggled. The female robot

then took out the keys and unlocked the door.

"Freedom!" Sloane cried while dancing, her leg suddenly cured, cause..I said so. Then the robot proceeded to let Zelos, Colette and Sheena out of their cells.

"MICHI HUNNY!!!" Zelos said tackling her, "I was afraid I'd never see you again!!!!!" Michi blushed and gave him a hug. Sloane started giggling evily then was hit in the head by Zelos' shoe. Ow.

Meanwhile...

"Sir! It seems some prisoners have had some help escaping!" a robotic soldier beeped, running into Kratos'...lair?

"What?!" Kratos bellowed, jumping up from his chair.

"I've dispatched a search team sir, they won't escape!"

"They better not!" Kratos roared, grabbing his sword and running out of the door, shoving the soldier out of the way.

"Asshat." the robotic soldier muttered to himself.

Kratos ran down the many halls of the White House, until he heard someone move behind a random curtain.

"..!! I have you traitors now!!" Kratos yelled, pulling the curtain away, to reveal...

Rick Astley!

"We're no strangers to love~ You know the rules, and so do I~" Rick sang.

"...What the hell?" Kratos what the helled.

"A full commitment's what I'm thinking of~ You wouldn't get this from any other guy~"

"Did I...just get Rick Rolled?..." Kratos asked, clenching his teeth.

"I~ Just wanna tell you how I'm feeling~ Gotta make you, understand~"

Kratos slowly drew his sword.

"Never gonna give you up~ Never gonna let you down~ Never gonna run around and desert you~"

"DIE!!" Kratos yelled, swinging his sword at Rick. Rick Astley, being the awesomesauce that he is, jumped out of the way, kicked Kratos in the balls, and ran off happily singing his song.

"Oww!! My balls!!!" Kratos screamed, falling on the floor and rolling around over and over.

Meanwhile again, Michi, Sloane and their friends were working their way to Kratos' lair.

"It should be around here.." the robotic soldier said, leading them.

"Everyone ready to take this crazy man down?" Sheena asked everyone enthusiastically.

"Yeah!!" they cried.

"For freedom~" Michi said.

"For peace~" Sloane added.

"For man thongs~!!" Zelos chimed in.

"Let's do it!!!" Colette cheered. They charged around the corner. They expected to find Kratos with his army of robotic soldiers waiting for them, but what they saw instead was Kratos rolling around on the floor screamed "My balls!!!!" over and over again.

"What happened to you?" Zelos asked, trying to hide the fact that he enjoyed this very much.

"I got kicked in my balls!!!!!!" Kratos screamed. Loudly.

"Who wants to kick Kratos' balls?" Zelos asked everyone cheerfully.

"ME!!!" they all cried, and began taking turns kicking Kratos in the balls.

"OWWWW!!!! MY FUCKING BALLS!!!!!!!!" Kratos screamed. Even more loudly. Then Rick Astley came back and kicked him in the balls again, and everyone else danced to Never Gonna Give You Up while Kratos wiggled around on the floor. Some people "accidentally" stepped on his hands, legs, arms, etc. He then passed out.

Order was then restored. Kratos went back to Sloane's house with everyone and was normal again, Sloane was still bugging Lloyd to pay for her wrecked computer, Zelos was happily wearing his man thongs, and Rick Astley became president. Something was about to happen though...

"Uh, Regal?" Sloane asked him once things had calmed down.

"Yes?"

"Meet your new girlfriend." Sloane moved out of the way, and the female robot soldier tackle hugged Regal.

"Ohhhhh my Regallie-Wegallie hunkity hunky hunk bear!!!" she cried.

"...What the hell?!" Regal burst as he fell over from the tackle hug.

"Oh relax, my precious Wegal-poo, allow me to introduce myself! I am Bonnie Booby Bot!!!" she squealed.

"...Bonnie Booby Bot?" he asked, confused. The robot pointed to her..metallic boob things. "...Ah."

"My boobs never hurt so you can squeeze them all you want?~" she cooed.

"...Sloane?" Regal asked.

"Yes?"

"Go fry. In hell."

"Aw, that's so sweet."

ENDZ.


	14. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

**ONE OF MY FAVORITE OCS RETURNS. LESS THAN THREE. I own nothing. o.o Oh, and this chapter was inspired by the Song "Minimum Rage" by Psychostick. You should totally go listen to it. xD This is the last chapter I have written so far. Any ideas, anyone? 8D; Thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it very much. ^^**

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Things had calmed down for the gang (as well as the whole country...sorta), but that didn't replace the things that had been destroyed. Lloyd decided to go back to McDonalds to work. He prayed Mr. YellowSnow didn't remember him. Sloane forced Lloyd to let her come along and get a job too so she could keep him in line...but things might not go as expected.

"How may I help you--" Mr. YellowSnow started, but when he turned around he saw a very familiar face. "You! You monster! You're the one who scared my poor little babies!!!" he screamed, cuddling that same box of chicken nuggets from chapter 4, man those have gotta be stale by now.

"I-I'm sorry! I just...I just really want to make it up to you! I promise, if you hire me again, I'll work harder!"

"I would also like a job, Mr. YellowSnow, so I can keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't screw up again!" Sloane added.

"Who the fuck are you?" Mr. YellowSnow asked.

"She's a very annoying freak. Please hire her too!" Lloyd grinned.

"Love ya too asshole..." Sloane hissed.

"Well, a sane person in the real world would just throw the both of you out right now, but since I'm not sane, and this is an insane story, written by an insane chick, sure I'll give you another chance! Put on those uniforms! You're hired, Lloyd and Drone!"

"It's Sloane, you retard..." Sloane muttered glaring.

"What was that?"

"...I mean, love your name! It's so catchy!" Sloane said nervously, poking Mr. YellowSnow's nametag.

"Why, thank you! That's the first time anyone has ever loved my name! Even my own mother hated me and my father for it! That's why she divorced my father and left us hanging! WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

"...No."

"Aw..."

Moving on...

"Be very careful Lloyd," Sloane told him, "I'm gonna go to the drive through window for a few minutes, so don't mess anything up while I'm not looking!"

"Testy little thing, aren't you?" he grumbled. He walked away to eat a burger in the back room while Sloane went to the window.

"Welcome to McDonalds! May I take your order?"

"HI I'D LIKE CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AND A BURGER WITH CHEESE AND A BURGER WITHOUT CHEESE AND A CHICKEN SANDWICH AND A DIET PEPSI WITHOUT ICE AND A HAPPY MEAL FOR MY KID AND ANOTHER HAPPY MEAL FOR MY OTHER KID AND A CHEESEBURGER FOR MY HUSBAND WHEN I GET HOME AND A BOTTLE OF WATER AND COOKIES AND A MCFLURRY AND AND CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AND ANOTHER MCFLURRY AND A BURGER!!!!!!!!!!!!" this seriously annoying woman screamed.

"...Would you like fries with that?" Sloane asked sarcastically.

"AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WOULD!!! I'D ALSO LIKE ANOTHER MCFLURRY AND SOME MORE NUGGETS AND BURGERS AND HAPPY MEALS AND AND....FRIES!!!!"

"...Please pull around to the first window." Sloane turned around, shook her head to get everything clear, called to the workers to get the order ready, then turned back to the window.

"WHERE'S MY STUFF WHERE'S MY STUFF WHERE'S MY STUFF HUH!?!?!??!" the chick screamed.

"...You need to pay first ya know. It...it comes to....30 bucks..." Sloane said sweating.

"KAY FINE HERE'S YOUR 30 BUCKS NOW WHERE'S MY FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the chick screamed, throwing 30 dollars at Sloane.

"...They're getting it ready," Sloane grumbled, putting the money in the cash register.

"HURRY UP YOU DAMN IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the woman screamed, honking her horn.

"What's your problem, lady?!" Sloane yelled while protecting her ears.

"I'M SO AWESOME, PEOPLE NEED TO BOW DOWN TO ME, AND IF THEY DON'T DO WHAT I WANT THEN THEY CAN GO TO HELL!!!!!!!! NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ME, I'M A FUCKING PRINCESS!!!!!!!!!!"

"...One moment." Sloane stepped away from the window and made sure to spit in all of the woman's food, then took it over to the window. "Sorry for the wait," she said, trying to fake a smile.

"YOU BETTER BE!!!!!!! YOU'RE FUCKING SLOW AND YOU'RE NOT HALF AS PRETTY AS I AM, NOW GIVE. ME. MY. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"...Take your stupid food, you bitch!" Sloane yelled, throwing it out the window, somehow it all managed to land either inside the car or on the woman.

"OH YOU HAVE NO MANNERS YOU LITTLE BITCH, WELL GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!" the woman drove off.

"...I hope that bitch chokes on that food. Seriously..." Sloane muttered to herself.

A little while later, Mr. YellowSnow came running up to Lloyd and Sloane. "Hello you two! I finally finished your naaaaame taaaaaaaags~!!" he said in a sing song voice.

"Awesome!" Lloyd said, taking his and putting it on. Sloane then took her's, but noticed there was a slight spelling error.

"Uh...Mr. YellowSnow? My name is not "Clone"..." she said, slightly annoyed.

"Whatever you say, Scone! Now, about our dinner plans..."

"We don't have any dinner plans!" Sloane cried.

"Oh...shall we make some? We don't have to go anywhere, we can just have burgers here, I'm sure I can find some candlese for a more romantic atmosphere..."

"...I'm busy tonight," Sloane hissed.

"Oh...well, there's always another day! See ya guys later, keep up the good work!" Mr YellowSnow giggled, then ran off to the back room.

"...Fucktard," Sloane sighed, putting on her nametag.

"Hehe, Scone and...well, no one really knows his first name...YellowSnow!" Lloyd teased.

"Put a sock in it, shitwit!" Sloane yelled.

"Heeeey, I'm just teasing..." Lloyd whined, protecting his head incase "Scone" got really pissed off. He then went to fry some...fries.

"Hey, be careful, you don't wanna burn yourself, that oil is really hot," Sloane warned him.

"I'll be fine, Tone," he said grinning, purposely trying to get on her nerves at this point.

"...Dunk your head in there, bastard," Sloane growled and stomped back to the window to take an order.

"And deep down she still loves me!" Lloyd laughed. A shoe was then thrown at his head. Not only was he hit with this shoe, he moved his hand so he was also burned at the same time. Oops. Yes, I know in previous chapters I've made it that Lloyd and Colette are boyfriend and girlfriend. But I found this the perfect time to make some Lloyd/Sloane jokes, considering how much I've teased Michi in my story. I don't need to be consistent. I can change stuff all I want. ALL I WANT I SAY. D:!!! A couple hours and several rude customers later...

"Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?" Sloane said slowly, trying to remain calm. A snobby sounding man began to order. And stuff.

"I want a cheeseburger, stat! And some fries! And a McFlurry! Hurry up! Are you getting all of this? I imagine you're a little slow so I'll repeat it! I said! I want a cheeseburger--"

"I heard you the first time! It'll be 13 bucks!" Sloane snapped, who had a small anger mark on her head. The man drove up to the window and started being..well, snobby again.

"Ugh, I'm getting my food served by dirty little kids like you? I hope it's not contaminated before it gets out here!" the man said, shoving the 13 dollars in her face.

"...Look, Fatty McDouchebag. I've had to deal with a lot today. I don't need you coming here and insulting me and this store! Do you even know what it's like to work one day in your life?!" Sloane was getting extremely pissed off, a stressball magically appeared and she began squeezing it.

"Don't call me that, you nasty bitch! Have respect for your elders! Kids these days!"

"Excuse me? You're the one who started this! Do you know how much I've had to deal with today?! My manager hits on me like holy shit, I've had to deal with other cunts like you, screaming and demanding food right at the moment they order it, calling me names---do you know that no one has fucking called me by my real name in several hours? I hear "Scone," "Clone," "Tone,", "Drone," "Fone," "Gnome," and so many other stupid bullshit things!!! How fucking hard is it to say "Sloane"?!" Sloane said quite angrily, squeezing the stressball harder. The man began to look a bit scared.

"Uh...uh..."

"Speechless, buddy?! Huh?! Got nothing to say to me?!? Aren't you going to demand your food right now?! IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE HEARD THAT ENOUGH TIMES TODAY, I THINK I'D LOVE TO HEAR SOMEONE SAY IT AGAIN!!!!" Sloane screamed, crushing the stressball...

"Ah..ahh..AHHHHHHHH!!" the man screamed, driving away in terror.

"HEY!!!!!!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING MCDOUCHEBAG?!?!? YOU FORGOT YOUR FRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sloane screamed throwing a bag of fries out of the window. Lloyd run over, dragged her away from the window and sprayed her with water.

"Down girl, down," he said.

"...Drop the water bottle and step AWAY FROM THE PISSED OFF CHICK!" Sloane yelled at him. Lloyd backed away in fear.

Finally, it was around five minutes to closing time...

Michi, Rebecca, Michael and the ToS gang walked into the McDonalds to wait for Lloyd and Sloane to finish up so they could take them home.

"Hi guys, we'll be done in a few minutes..." Sloane said, finally beginning to calm down a little. Oh, but that was about to change.

"I think I'd like to order something!" Zelos said, not taking notice to the fact that all the grills had been cleaned and turned off and everyone was getting ready to leave.

"...How considerate of you!" Sloane said, giving him a death glare, "We've already shut everything down, but we'll fire up those grills again, JUST FOR YOU!!"

"How lovely! Let's see...I want...nah, I don't really want that...How about! ...Nah...uh...Let's see..." Zelos pondered, he couldn't make up his mind.

"...Just! Pick! SOMETHING!" Sloane shouted at him.

"Whoa, moody aren't we? Anyway...hm...I'd like..actually no no, that'd be bad for my figure...oh yeah! ...nah..." At that point, Sloane lost it. She jumped over the counter and attacked Zelos, screaming "I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The gang pulled them apart, Michi, Presea and Kratos holding Sloane back so she didn't charge at Zelos again. Mr. YellowSnow then came out from the back room and cried out, "So, Chrome! Are you sure you don't wanna stay and have dinner with me?"

"...I quit. I fucking quit. OH AND I HATE YOUR NAME!!!" Sloane screamed at him. The gang dragged her out of the resturaunt to try and calm her down before she took an axe to his head. Lloyd quit the job also because he thought it would be boring without all the screaming.

"Oh well...this chicken mcnugget I found is much prettier than her! Let's go get married, oh beautiful chicken mcnugget!" Mr. YellowSnow said, carressing the nugget.

End of that chapter. Disturbing eh? 8D


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